I wanted the meekest part of me to drown in the sea of forgetfulness.
I wanted my sensitivity to her cries to be silenced forever--
I wanted to never care about her again; that part of me to be a memory
--A spec of dust on the face of eternity.
Now I want that part of me, the refused to heal, to cease from existing.
Now I want the thorns from my flesh to be torn away and replaced with honey suckles.
Now I want to be a tree of healing for all;
Now I want to be my own place of worship where I can engrave the holy scriptures of self love unto my heart.
I want to never part from Spirit.
If only I can leave the hurting girl inside of me.
If only I left her to die a long time ago.
But I can't.
She is me.
The bleeding parts of her also sustain my life force.
The tears that she has cried were the nourishment for my strength.
Her sleepless nights fueled my mental peace during unbearable days.
So to be rid of her, would be to ultimately destroy me.
Because I can not become this life tree of today,
Without having to go through the pain of my past.
At last, I am here.
But I want her to come out and be free from the imprisonment I've banished her in.
So that she can join me.
Free from self neglect.
Basking in forgiveness and eternal love.
