Death of a Parent (Haiku)

Even though I knew

You would eventually leave

Your goodbye still hurts

Naked

Freedom to me

Is nakedness.

Feeling nothing but skin

On top of elements

Letting the breath of a lover

Hover over my body

Or the sweet, soft rays of the sun

Caress what little shield I have over

Muscle and sacred bone.

I want to be vulnerable.

Not as in being prey

But in being open.

Unafraid and wild 

Hair flying everywhere

Flesh and heart dancing together

As my mind makes up a tune

Made up of the notes of life

Collecting experiences like pebbles

Skipping them across wide, beautiful lakes.

Beautiful enough to swim in

Naked.

Unravel

All it takes 

Is a moment I perceive

To be an emotional cut of the heart.

Then I go bleeding out.

At first, a pin-prick.

Then later a pouring of crimson.

To hold myself tight

Is to no avail.

Like wet bandages.

In my mind, I replay 

This constant movie.

It is a silent black and white film 

In it I'm screaming out

"God, why can't I just be perfect?"

Again I unravel

Again I fall apart

Again I turn to ashes

Too weak to build myself up again 

But I do

And I did

Forget Words

Let us forget words

Let's be energy

Feeling our vibration

And responding to frequencies.

I want your depth 

But I don't want it in literacy

Talk to me telepathically 

Through eyes staring across a dimly lit room

They say that the eyes are the window to your soul

But I say your eyes should speak a language your mouth couldn't utter. 

Say it again

But only in touch, smell, and sight.

You are a perfect rainbow 

Even if described by only the joy it brings instead of its colors.

Let's love one another

And again until our life force exhausts

I want to see you beyond what is said 

I want to love you through muted sounds; through words long lost

Wounds

They come to me seeking refuge

And I am their fortress 

Wiping away Salty streams of tears 

And oceans of sorrow deep enough to drown in

Yet, I insist on showing up every time

I am tattered myself

But leave it to me to take what little bullet riddled armor I have and to place it on them

Still bleeding from past traumas

I wish I could save myself and them...

But I'd rather save them

As I watch myself die 

Maybe I'll be a good sacrifice

In my mind, at least I was worth something

Even if that something was empathy 

Shared sorrow

Or shared space in the middle of someone else's darkness

You (Haiku)

My heart bled that day

When you said I was pretty

It was a good lie 

In All Seriousness

I don't know me.

I thought that once I got old enough

My reflection, I could see

More clearly

But it just keeps getting more foggy everyday

Always, there are more dragons to slay

More convoluted questions

And even more answers that leave me lost

Why is life like a continuous game where I never seem to overcome the biggest boss?

Whatever that is for me

I want to finally be able to see

And to realize why am I here?

Who am I to be?