Only Words

At times I find myself grasping for syllables
Looking up words that are powerful enough to heal
But they only flake and peel like old skin
Falling to their grave without purpose or life

I look into your eyes and see pain
The way you look at me, it's as if you want to convince yourself we're fine
But we're not fine--
I've cut into you and there's no more blood left to be spilled.

How can one say they're sorry for sucking you dry?
For making them believe that their dreams were real?
When they weren't--
They were only illusions of what we wanted our lives to be.

I don't know where to find the words to use as bandages
To cover up your aching heart like a twisted ankle
I wish you hated me so that you'd be free
And I wouldn't have to keep searching for my tongue

Because every time you talk about your pain
I want to erase everything I've done to cause it.
But there aren't enough syllables, letters, or words
Phrases, sentences, or paragraphs that could accurately describe

My level of shame and how bad I wish you'd just leave me.