Sometimes

I dream with my eyes open

Imagining an existence where hiding in my shell no long feels like a refuge and a cage all at once.

Because Sometimes I fear myself

I fear being great

Afraid of exploding like a nuclear bomb that creates blinding light and destruction

What if like splitting atoms, I destroy myself in the process?

Good Hair

You've been good hair.
You grew with me throughout tough transitions
From breakups to scholarly ambitions
From mental hospital to job interviews

You've been good hair
I decided to loc you up
Because I wanted to embrace you
But you've been the one to embrace me

You've been good hair
I cried on you
Slept on you
Felt you on my cheek while I laughed

You've been good hair
You've swung when I exercised
Or when I turned my head too quickly
You've bounced with me while I made love to my man
(Feeling every vibration)

You've been good hair
I've watched you mature
I've watched you break
You were my scarf on cold winter days.

You've been good hair
But wondering how long would our journey continue?
I think I want a brand new transition.
But I'm too attached to let you go now.

You are good hair.

Only Words

At times I find myself grasping for syllables
Looking up words that are powerful enough to heal
But they only flake and peel like old skin
Falling to their grave without purpose or life

I look into your eyes and see pain
The way you look at me, it's as if you want to convince yourself we're fine
But we're not fine--
I've cut into you and there's no more blood left to be spilled.

How can one say they're sorry for sucking you dry?
For making them believe that their dreams were real?
When they weren't--
They were only illusions of what we wanted our lives to be.

I don't know where to find the words to use as bandages
To cover up your aching heart like a twisted ankle
I wish you hated me so that you'd be free
And I wouldn't have to keep searching for my tongue

Because every time you talk about your pain
I want to erase everything I've done to cause it.
But there aren't enough syllables, letters, or words
Phrases, sentences, or paragraphs that could accurately describe

My level of shame and how bad I wish you'd just leave me.

Bite of a flame

Warm at first
Then  a sudden gnawing
As if it were warning me to keep my distance
As if my skin cells were toxic
The flame, if it were to bite, would leave a pain that was memorable but unseen.
It did not leave a mark
But it left an impression
It told me to not tamper with its nature.
And to respect its aura from a reasonable distance
Far enough so that my lust for it,
will not penetrate its yellow and orange embers.

Heroin (Explicit)

You are my heroin
You make me want to get high off of your intoxicating caress
Those satin words that you concoct
Can entice me into satin sheets
You make me desperate for every drop of you to flow into my veins
Like rain onto a river that knows no thirst
When I close my eyes and think of you
I see stars that escaped from the heavens
Just to see us merge together in oneness
My high is so deep when I'm connected to you --my needle of love
I forget what low feels like
I keep craving you
Always coming back into the back alleys of your heart
Wanting one more hit
You got me hooked on this shit
Totally helpless and hung over laying on your chest
Feeling you breathe me in
Causing me to succumb to your gravity
Like a planet falling out of its orbit
I keep surrendering to you
I keep saying that this is the last time
This is the final stage play
Then I will participate in this dance, no more
But then I think of all the different ways you puncture me
And I'm crawling back to receive more of your ecstasy
For I am the receiver of your beautiful poison
Forever sinking into you
Forever an addict

Moon

Sweet, soft light

among a bed of defiant stars

Encompassed by a dark canvas.

One day you will be mine

I will have you in the soft palm of my hand

And watch you glow for me, forever. 

Your beauty

Never ceases to entrance my eyes

As the night sky holds you up on an invisible thrown

You look down upon me

And my heart melts into a pool of worship

Even if I were to fall down to my knees

I can never sing enough of your praises. 

Standing Tall (Haiku)

She's in there somewhere
Come beautiful, strong woman
Be well and alive